'the supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves say rather than loved in spite of ourselves'
if i may add my tiny negligible bit of thought into this brilliant quote, the most important thing is to love yourself first before others do.
have been battling the most insane, intense kind of jaded melancholy and angst and other unwarranted emotions that make me feel very, very miserable in general. didn't let it out, because i thought it was a process i had to go through myself. Understanding your own pain, sadness etc. a process where you learn to cope with negative emotions that make us human, that make us vulnerable.
Anyway not to say that life's gotten better, but have been a little busy drowning with my assignment right now; hence i haven't been that affected~~
But today's longass lunch conversation has sparked a little bit of clarity which is slowly paving the path to light in my cluttered, confused mind.
At the end of the day, we all seek to be happy/satisfied with ourselves. No matter how happy others are for you, it is essential and almost mandatory that you feel pleased with yourself/your work/ your life in general.
This happiness we seek has to be internal - it has to be derived deep within oneself. deep within.
and the mistake i feel like i have been making is that i am striving to derive this happiness and this sense of validity from external sources. yes of course, society shapes A LOT of our beliefs and ideals etc. it is an inevitable part of life, something which i believe is impossible to oppose.
But comparisons in all aspects of life kills inner contentment.
If I ever start comparing myself and my lack of 'achievements/successes' in life with my friends/people/acquaintances, i can never stop. i will never be able to stop. it will be this negative spiral where i will have no self esteem left to even face this world.
comparisons are inevitable. they are even necessary at some points, but i want to remember the fact that the times i felt the greatest satisfaction in life were when i reaped the fruits of my labour, and when i realised the expanding boundaries of my potential.
I dont even know what is the point of me writing all this down, but i feel like it gives me some clarity. I need to be happy and I need to work hard to feel proud of myself.
I am hoping that this sudden sense of clarity will help me with my assignment, with my ability to deal with my feelings and of course my ability to express my feelings in appropriate situations and the ability to accept things that happen in my life graciously :)
The supreme happiness of life, indeed.
